Ask Loulou
An advice column for dogs…BY dogs!
This is a new place for dogs – for you to share your needs and your problems and your experience! Yes, I said this page is for DOGS not their owners. You may not have your own email account and have to use your owners. And I do hope that owners will read your letters in order to become better owners. And I hope you find that Ask LouLou speaks to you and your life. Why have an advice column for dogs? I am sure you have all seen those newspaper columns offering advice to lovelorn, disappointed, frustrated, angry and dispirited people. They offer advice on how to manage the typical problems and crises that people fret so about. Sometimes there is even advice on how to manage some dog that barks or bites or pees on their lawn. Yep. Advice for people Too little love. Too much love. Wrong kind of love. BUT NOBODY KNOWS MORE ABOUT LOVE THAN US
DOGS! And manners. Oh My God do they go on about manners. Just to be clear, people are creatures who provide us with food and shelter. They make the rules of our homes. And they take advantage of our loving playful and loyal spirit. Some people are ‘owners’ and some are not. We will be talking a great deal about the different ways to handle owners and non-owners.
There is never an advice column just for us. And, as I am sure you know, managing households, house rules and humans and their weird needs is demanding and can be pretty tricky. And bad as their manners are, their expectations of us are often just ridiculous. More about that later. For now, let’s just say that old folks who read newspapers are in no position to offer us dogs advice about much of anything.
In the last couple years, you may have seen sites online for dog hook ups, on-line play dates and even for mating. These are popular with younger folks. And l will admit that I do occasionally browse through Dig or Dog Date Afternoon to see what folks are up to. But really, they only pretend to be about dogs. It would be bad enough of these were just another self-help scam, but I think it shows a deep lack of respect for us. They use the silly little detail of their lives like their taste in play or sports, or even style , to match us up with other dogs. They never mention how their dogs smell. They actually don’t even know how their dogs smell. They are basically nose-blind! More on this later too.
A little about me. I am a standard poodle. I am six years old, and I have been around the block a time or two but spry enough for games and fun. I do not go in for those frou-frou puffy outfits that many poodles seem to go in for. I love my natural look. I am about 20 inches at the shoulders and have, I must say, a very nice figure. I live in the city but have spent time in the country and even the suburbs. I don’t want to brag but I do have advanced degrees in Obedience and Zen for Dogs.
And, I had best just get this out there, my Owner is psychologist – even though he never seems to know what-the-heck is going on. I will try to share what I have learned about people, life, and other dogs. But I hope this will really be your column. Together we will build a dog community.